When you couchsurf, what time should you arrive? Especially in the case when your host is ambiguous with his schedules, when should you plan to arrive? Well, let’s talk about it.
THE PROBLEM
When you travel, you face constant changes. Sometimes you feel like spending more time in sightseeing, sometimes you feel tired and would appreciate a place for nap time. But when you couchsurf, as the idea is not a free hotel, you cannot just come and go as you wish. Your flexibility depends on your host.
So, obviously, unless you have ‘luggage problem’, that it when you arrive in a new city, and you are wondering if you could just quickly ‘drop your luggage’ at his place and then go out to do sightseeing, then in normal cases surfers would rather like to spend more time outside, having fun to ‘themselves’ (I’m an honest human being….) But if you want to have good references in the future, you’ll need to know how to be polite and respectful!
TYPES OF HOSTS
You may refer to my article about 4 Types of Couchsurfing Hosts- Some Tips Before You Couchsurf. The bottomline is nobody would like to host anyone who comes to their house just to ‘sleep’.
I’d like to talk more objectively, so I’ll give you details of our situation, and perhaps you can see if this can apply to you. In the recent years since “I” have been on couchsurfing, we have been traveling and couchsurfing as a family. That means it’s usually my parents and I, with or without my brother. And our hosts range from 19 being the youngest to 68 year-old!
THE SIMPLE ANSWER
You should plan for a minimum of 1.5 hours before your host’s ideal sleep time (this information is usually available). For example, if your host has young kids at home who go to sleep at 10pm, that means you shouldn’t arrive at 10pm to wake everyone up. Go there at 8pm-8:30pm. Also, out of the 4 types of hosts, I think you should be more considerate to the “lonely type” and the “trial type”, as certain level of interaction is expected by them. They look forward to moments, company, conversations. So I’d say you should plan for at least spending 2 hours to hang out with your host in ‘exchange’ of your stay, and if you can be more generous with your time, then arrive earlier.
But of course, you wouldn’t know exactly which type of host before meeting him/her in person. So just in case, always plan for 2 hours!
THE TRICKY PART AWKWARD DINNER TIME
Q1-SHOULD I ARRIVE BEFORE DINNER?
If your host wants to host you dinner, he/she will always ‘book’ your time in advance. You’ll receive messages like ‘When do you plan to arrive? If you want, we can XXXX’ ‘We’ll have dinner at 7pm, you’re invited if this time suits you!’ ‘Would you like to have dinner with us?’ ‘Will you come fed? I’m wondering.’
At least, this happened in all my cases. So if your host doesn’t have a plan to host you dinner…. then
Q2-CAN I ARRIVE BEFORE DINNER?
First of all, dinner time is different from person to person. So if you want to arrive before your own dinner time to prepare for your own dinner, it is best to ask in advance, propose your expected arrival time and also invite your host out of politeness. But, ideally you shouldn’t arrive at 8pm to cook. Most people won’t feel easy with such stress, especially on the first night of hosting. Most hosts won’t expect you to cook for them, they won’t even expect you to make dinner ready according to their habitual dining hour (they are also human being, they won’t be that mean), so don’t go that far. But make sure to figure out what your plan is, ask your host in advance, if it’s okay then it’s okay! From experience, I haven’t felt any difference in arriving at 6 or 7pm to cook. The ones who will enjoy having your food wouldn’t mind if you start at 5pm or 7pm. And those hosts who don’t want you to influence their busy schedule would already tell you what they ‘want’ (like, no dinner, you should come with your stomach full).
Q3- If your host tells you “I’ll be free after 6”, what does he really mean?
If your host isn’t giving any invitation, then treat this information as it is. It means he or she will be available after 6. That’s it! Don’t feel it is a hint for you to arrive close to 6pm. It doesn’t mean you are invited to dinner or expected to cook! Stick to my strategy above! Be at ease with your time.
THE RIGHT ATTITUDE- COMMUNICATE
Always communicate (before, during and after). As surfers, it is our responsibility to be clear and precise in sharing our plan. Hosts are already going out of their comfort zone to host and help surfers, so don’t make them ‘guess’. Try to spend time to work out plans with a respectful manner. Sometimes it is not about the ‘hour’ but your attitude, and how you ask. For example, my brother had to arrive at 5am in the morning! His host knew he was coming, so he was willing to adjust his schedule to pick up my brother! (Although he really didn’t have to)
Arriving at weird hours isn’t going to make you a terrible guest, just ask and be polite! The chance of people getting out of their way to help you is higher than them to reject you due to inconvenience.
Traveling Mega
